Perimeter not so Secure

Dateline suburbia 2011. Not twenty feet from the thin safety of the back door, a giant rabbit (everything is bigger in Texas) marauds, devouring the lawn, tearing up shrubs, gnawing on sprinkler heads. He wreaks havoc everywhere he hops.

Fear not this veritable herbivore of the apocalypse, for the house is guarded by two courageous protectors. Surely they scent the intruder and will see to his hasty retreat? With great speed and agility they will hunt, turn, double-team, corner and finally, feast lustily on his entrails, whilst eliciting that fabled Beagle bay.

We are horribly exposed: one hound is more interested in sleeping and the other is working on his begging routine. What do these dogs dream about? Evidently not rabbits. The big leagues of chase is seconds away and this is what we get? Snoring and sad eyes?

The rabid rabbit of doom continues unabated on his path of carnage. No dandelions will survive.

Apparently in 2011 it is better to have a goldfish and bark yourself.